our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s

they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”

And pretend to tweet about it, too.

(via slady-gaga)

On My Parents, and Their Inability to Communicate With Each Other

My brother is graduating from college this May, and both my father and mother will be there (along with me).

My mother is good at planning trips ahead of time, and does so. This is good. But my father is much more last minute and still working out the details of dinners.

Now, my parents being divorced, they don’t talk much. So (surprise!) they both reserved dinner with me on the Saturday night.

After saying to them this is something that they need to work out themselves, I’ve been told that there is no working out between them. They simply cannot work together, and all I can say is JESUS CHRIST IT’S ONE STINKING DINNER CAN’T YOU ACT LIKE NORMAL CIVILIZED ADULTS FOR ONCE WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER?? WHY DOES IT ALWAYS DEVOLVE INTO A STUPID PISSING CONTEST??

Why is it that, whenever my parents have to decide something between themselves, I’m brought in as the impartial moderator and the only one acting like a fucking adult?